Starting something new is always risky.
We can fail without risking, but we will never risk without failing. Masculine initiation is always intertwined with risk.
Twelve brave men chose to engage with me—within the safety of older, wiser guides—to wrestle with the deepest questions of masculine initiation. After this epic soul adventure came to a close, I noticed something stirring within me: it was merely the beginning.
As Gerard Manley Hopkins says in his poem As Kingfishers Catch Fire:
"What I do is me: for that I came."
With this as a prologue, I am launching the Become Good Soil blog as an ongoing invitation to a path and process of recovering our initiation into true masculinity. It is my deep conviction that our initiation—both as men and women—into wholehearted maturity and union with God is intended to be the narrative arc and orientation of our entire lives.
We are meaning-making souls, born into a love story in the midst of battle. If we are ever to discover the life for which we were made, we must recover both the path and the process. And we must do so among like-hearted men and women who are choosing their apprenticeship to God and His Kingdom as the greatest treasure of their lives.
It has been one week since the first Become Good Soil Intensive (formerly known as The Thirties Retreat). How's it going?
The Fourth of July marked the second anniversary of Cherie and me beginning to put our marriage back together after a significant detour through her illness. This day holds deep meaning and hope in our household. Yet, on the eve of this momentous occasion, we had the biggest fight of the past two years. Both Cherie and I felt hurt, misunderstood, disrespected... it was just ugly.
An hour later, I found myself sitting on my back porch, surrounded by suburban rooftops, gazing up at the stars. With an ice-cold Icehouse in hand, I was trying to connect with the Father—hoping that one of the two strategies would bring some life. As I paused, the accusations swirled:
"You are such an asshole. Why would you try to sit down and work out the family budget with your wife on the eve of your anniversary? What's with the anger? See, you did it again. You are full of shit."
The list went on.
Then I remembered: Be present in this moment. Be here with the Father.
I prayed: I bind a spirit of regret over the past. I bind a spirit of worry about tomorrow and forbid these twin thieves to steal the life You, Father, are giving me today. I choose You. I remain in You. I yield to You. I find my life in You. Father, forgive me for my part in this, even the part I don't fully understand in this moment.
Remarkably, the Fourth of July was rescued. I can't fully explain how—whether by grace, by choosing love, or perhaps both. Looking back, I realize that so much of the struggle was retaliation against what God had done for me and for others during The Become Good Soil Intensive at Bart's Globe and Anchor Ranch.
Men, stay the course. Remember, you are not alone.
Remember the words of one of our mentors…
"If you are not in crisis you are living well."
Stand against the twin thieves and receive the grace coming to the Father as a son today.
As a memorial to all that God did, we felled a 110-year-old towering pine together. Those rings are a better timeline... Our souls are made to thrive by living in the day and measuring in the decade. Remember that living "today" present to God, 365 days becomes a year. And doing it 3,650 times becomes a decade. Life comes in "today’s." And as C.S. Lewis has taught us, the only two places that God exists are in the present moment and in eternity. The enemy is constantly seducing us, with good motive or ill, to live in the past or future and remove us from the present, where we can live in God, be tapped into His life and His resources for us as the Sons of God, the Sons of Thunder...
Choose Life.
Today.
We can fail without risking, but we will never risk without failing. Masculine initiation is always intertwined with risk.
Twelve brave men chose to engage with me—within the safety of older, wiser guides—to wrestle with the deepest questions of masculine initiation. After this epic soul adventure came to a close, I noticed something stirring within me: it was merely the beginning.
As Gerard Manley Hopkins says in his poem As Kingfishers Catch Fire:
"What I do is me: for that I came."
With this as a prologue, I am launching the Become Good Soil blog as an ongoing invitation to a path and process of recovering our initiation into true masculinity. It is my deep conviction that our initiation—both as men and women—into wholehearted maturity and union with God is intended to be the narrative arc and orientation of our entire lives.
We are meaning-making souls, born into a love story in the midst of battle. If we are ever to discover the life for which we were made, we must recover both the path and the process. And we must do so among like-hearted men and women who are choosing their apprenticeship to God and His Kingdom as the greatest treasure of their lives.
It has been one week since the first Become Good Soil Intensive (formerly known as The Thirties Retreat). How's it going?
The Fourth of July marked the second anniversary of Cherie and me beginning to put our marriage back together after a significant detour through her illness. This day holds deep meaning and hope in our household. Yet, on the eve of this momentous occasion, we had the biggest fight of the past two years. Both Cherie and I felt hurt, misunderstood, disrespected... it was just ugly.
An hour later, I found myself sitting on my back porch, surrounded by suburban rooftops, gazing up at the stars. With an ice-cold Icehouse in hand, I was trying to connect with the Father—hoping that one of the two strategies would bring some life. As I paused, the accusations swirled:
"You are such an asshole. Why would you try to sit down and work out the family budget with your wife on the eve of your anniversary? What's with the anger? See, you did it again. You are full of shit."
The list went on.
Then I remembered: Be present in this moment. Be here with the Father.
I prayed: I bind a spirit of regret over the past. I bind a spirit of worry about tomorrow and forbid these twin thieves to steal the life You, Father, are giving me today. I choose You. I remain in You. I yield to You. I find my life in You. Father, forgive me for my part in this, even the part I don't fully understand in this moment.
Remarkably, the Fourth of July was rescued. I can't fully explain how—whether by grace, by choosing love, or perhaps both. Looking back, I realize that so much of the struggle was retaliation against what God had done for me and for others during The Become Good Soil Intensive at Bart's Globe and Anchor Ranch.
Men, stay the course. Remember, you are not alone.
Remember the words of one of our mentors…
"If you are not in crisis you are living well."
Stand against the twin thieves and receive the grace coming to the Father as a son today.
As a memorial to all that God did, we felled a 110-year-old towering pine together. Those rings are a better timeline... Our souls are made to thrive by living in the day and measuring in the decade. Remember that living "today" present to God, 365 days becomes a year. And doing it 3,650 times becomes a decade. Life comes in "today’s." And as C.S. Lewis has taught us, the only two places that God exists are in the present moment and in eternity. The enemy is constantly seducing us, with good motive or ill, to live in the past or future and remove us from the present, where we can live in God, be tapped into His life and His resources for us as the Sons of God, the Sons of Thunder...
Choose Life.
Today.